Newt Gingrich and Ruben Navarette - a "Feast of Bullshit."

A couple of nights ago, getting my therapeutic humor for the day by way of my usual practice of watching FoxNews, I heard the nation’s resident blowhard, Newt Gingrich, deliver yet another of his Jack S. Phogbound (anybody remember Al Capp, Lil Abner – Dogpatch?) pontifications. The parallel collapse of the !-35W bridge in the Twin Cities, Newt says, together with horrors like the collapse of FEMA – Federal Emergency Management Agency (how’s THAT for a laugh – doesn’t everything “federally managed” these days swiftly turn into an emergency?) after Hurricane Katrina, reveal the fact that the bureaucracy doesn’t work.

I pause to let the shear banality of that sink in. We need Mr. Speaker to tell us that?

Well, sir, where were you all those years ago when people like me started trying to tell great men like you about the nation’s decaying infrastructure, things like the levees in New Orleans and bridges all over the country, the totally FUBAR tax system, murderous incompetent law enforcement, a criminal justice system that amounted to little more than trial by gossip, a nearly comatose national security system, and dozens more?

Among the “more,” consider the woeful inadequacy of the Immigration and Naturalization service, the Border Patrol, and the torrent of criminals pouring into the country from Mexico. How many of those “parallels” you speak of would it have taken to wake you up and elicit one of nitwit nostrums with which you and your sesquipedalian, supercilious ilk belabor us of late?

The government doesn’t work . . . well, I’ll be damned! No shit?!

Mr. Speaker, you join another torrent, that of these wonderful, taxpayer-funded studies and scientific revelations inundating us of late – things like boys and girls are different as students and a host of other things, men and women aren’t the same emotionally (and a score of other ways – each the discovery of a new study), and the six hundred million cars – converters changing the planet itself into carbon dioxide and other, more noxious, gasses as they are - are changing the climate. Well, mirabile dictu! And all from the sedia gestitoria of science, our beloved, benevolent, all-knowing and all-wise government.

Wonderful!

And, of course, today’s newspaper brings us Ruben Navarette’s column on his one subject – he apparently had to go to Harvard to learn it – the criminal breaking and entering of our country by Mexicans. I remind us all that one who commits illegal acts is a criminal. By definition. A Harvard graduate, Mr. Navarette, should know that; and, as I have duly noted, sir – like the illustrious former Speaker of the House of Representatives – also pontificates, wisdom that parallels that of the former Speaker in his bloviating pronouncements and bumptious banalities.

Now, Ruben’s one topic is an argument for open borders and unobstructed immigration, and an apology for all the criminals already here illegally – provided, apparently, that Spanish is their first language. Central to his argument is that we need the “undocumented” (whenever anyone starts euphemizing and bandying about terms like that, you ought know enough to watch him like the proverbial hawk) “workers.” They do work we won’t do ourselves, Ruben says - things like the yard work in one hundred degree heat I – at seventy-one years of age - just did.

Our economy would crash, were it not for the horde of new dependents upon it. Hmmmmm. The reasoning by which suborners and misprisioners of criminal immigration and criminals from Mexico argue that last is so rhetorically convolute, so innumerate and devoid of logical validity as to make Lewis Carroll green with satirist’s envy. Mr. Navarette’s argument, in short, is pure balderdash.

But perhaps I am too abrupt. Perhaps Mexico does have much offer us – fat, lazy, and stupid as we seem to be. How we have managed to reach standard of living and other conditions so many Mexicans seem so desirous of on the one hand sharing and the other hand transforming into what they came here to escape is truly amazing. Perhaps, witness Mr. Navarette’s truly amazing verbal prestidigitation, we should hire him to explain it. I have no doubt that he could. To morons like us “yanquis, however” – racist, bigoted, and ill-informed as we are – it all seems rather contradictory.

Downright Latin - Mexican, even - matter of fact.

What will the illegal aliens contribute to their new land? Why should we be so desirous of having them here . . .?

Anyone who studies history, or – more to the point - physics, mathematics, chemistry and similar topics, finds all but comparatively very few scientific discoveries of great significance – laws of physics, natural phenomena, investigative and experimental procedures, means and methods of measurement and the like – were made by and in most instances named for European scientists of the past and present. Discoveries like, for example, Galileo’s celestial and planetary studies, Newton's laws of motion, Leibnitz’ and Newton’s calculus, Riemann Geometry, Planck’s Constant, Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, Einstein’s Relativity, and the like contribute in a manner sine qua non to our technology and the standard of living it has brought.

It goes on and on, and every other name, it seems, is as a matter of fact German. It is certainly no co-incidence that prior to 1965, seventy-one percent of the names in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave were of German origin. Neither is it mere co-incidence that when the German United States with an Army, Navy, and Air Corps seventy percent German defeated Germany (and Japan) in World War Two, it was led by men named Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Nimitz, and others of German and European (mostly English and British) extraction.

It is high time, parenthetically and in that regard, that the humanists, liberals, and minorities racial and cultural who have for so long now foisted upon the society and nation their pretenses of supposedly critical contribution to the nation face their cynically supposed tormentors in a truly open and national dialogue and debate. Not the Operation Mockingbird co-opted, government serving and specious propagandist-scripted fraud the media call debate, but a real, forensic, one - ho did what, and let the chips fall where they may.

But I digress - sometimes, people like my present subjects and those for whom they apologize really piss me off.

Suffice it to observe that anyone who studies history or current events, who knows the people and cultures of the planet as an anthropologist or sociologist does, will notice that the vast majority of names having to do with the science and technology absolutely, without which nothing, critical to the character and standard of living of the United States and to its ascendancy in the family of nations are those of just four nationalities: German (foremost, and by a wide margin), French, English, and Italian.

Permit me to name some, and try to imagine life today without their work and discoveries:

Start with the Germans names Goethe, Kepler, Gauss, Leibnitz, Ohm, Weber, Siemens, Cantor, Riemann, Planck, Helmholz, Heisenberg, Hilbert, Einstein, Kronecker, Weierstrass, Lorenz, and Freud. And on and on, too many to list here or even in a book;

Ampere, Cauchy, Coulomb, Fourier, Laplace, Lavoisier, Lebesgue, Lagrange, Lesseps, Fresnel, St. Venant, Curie, Poisson, Poincaré and many others – French.

Among those scientists with English names – many Anglo-Saxon; i.e., German – are Newton, Watt, Joule, Faraday, Davy, Green, Priestley, Maxwell, Cavendish. Briggs, Napier, Taylor, Stokes, Gibas, and more – many more.

Italian names we find are; Galileo, da Vinci, Bernoulli, Torricelli, Levi-Cività, Volta, Marconi, Galvani and others. There are more Europeans, of course – Copernicus, Bohr, Mendel, Tesla, and others including many Russians.

I challenge you, Mr. Navarette and all those apologists for Mexican and Latin American immigration legal or otherwise, to find a single Hispanic name of any momentous character anywhere in the history of the science upon which the standard of living of the nation that you somehow demand the right to share depends. Neither is there a single Mexican name (there are more than Hispanic people in Mexico, you know . . .).

Tell me again, why do we need you? And, while you’re telling, explain to us how filling our streets with people from a culture like that of Mexico will make us better. Tell us about the high rate of Mexican literacy, about how law-abiding and societally affable and co-operative they are; tell us about how your people are so eager to contribute to our country that they honor her by first violating her. Rape, after all, is in Mexico a lesser offense, is it not?

That’s pretty complicated, all right – almost as complicated as the rest of your convolute rationalizing on the one topic you seem to find worth your Harvard effort.

Mr. Navarette, in your latest harangue, you speak of an individual Mexican sympathizer Hispanic who says his heart is in one country his soul in another.

Exactly.

Ruben, tell your man that when he can say his heart and soul are in my country, when he has made a citizens arrest of an illegal alien for desecrating our flag by flying it upside down under his own, Mexican flag, he can say it is our country.

Not before.