State of the Union; or "Bloviating with the Stars."

Shortly, we will endure what is always called the “State to the Union Address.” I won’t be listening, of course – I’ve heard sixty-some examples of this bloviating bullshit, and like another “Titanic” or “King Kong,” I just can’t stand any more. Just the shear folly of the damned things would be enough, but this time we have one delivered by a man who seems to live in another world entirely. One thing that won’t be in the speech - as it never is - is any explanation for why, in a nation where appointments like the Supreme Court are fought over by the partisan interests like the proverbial cat and dog fight, the “nomination” for Chairman of the Federal Reserve has the smoothest of sailing. There’ll be no mention, either, concerning why four different presidents, two from each party, have approved of Alan Greenspan. You’d have to be a moron to believe that doesn’t tell us who really runs the nation, but there are obviously a lot of morons around these days.

When you put it all with the fact that George W. Bush is a politician and the archetypical professional liar, the only reason anyone would watch the State of the Union speech is for the theater. I’m not “into” theater where the future of my country is at stake, however. I hope the bastard’s tongue goes spastic like it often does. Otherwise, this is the speech:

Everything is wonderful. The economy is booming, jobs are being “created” (you know they think they’re god when their floundering fecklessness is “creation”) by the millions, environmental pollution is getting better, crime is down, and illegal immigration has been slowed to a crawl. Education is so wonderful that our kids can’t wait to get into college and the really serious stuff like physics, rocket science, and – well, of course – politics.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if the Prez somehow got a shot of pentothal sodium (truth serum, co-called) in the butt? Well, THEN you’d hear something like this: Our corporations, corporations who used to say things like “what’s good for General Motors is good for the United States,” are eliminating tens of thousands of jobs, “down-sizing” and running to foreign labor pools or importing as many aliens who’ll work for peanuts as possible, or going bust. The ones too small to move overseas – buying your way into a country takes some REAL bucks to say nothing of Washington-style diplomacy – are importing illegal aliens as fast as they can, and fighting any effort by the government (or anyone else, for that matter) to close the border or even slow the stampede.

We’d hear that we’ve pissed off so many people with exploitation like that last that some are attacking us with bombs, biochemical agents, and high-jacked jetliners. We call that “terror.” That’s when they do it, of course. When we do it, it’s called freedom-fighting and the War on Terror, and you should support it – support our troops, remember?

Of course, and in order to fight “terror,” we are violating the Constitution at will, tapping your phone, reading your e-mail, bugging your house and car, and arresting people without warrant or probable cause. Some people are all worked up about that, but it’s all more of that Constitutional bullshit, anyway – how do you expect me to protect you, if I have to obey nonsensical shit like our legal system and it nitwit laws? The people who bitch about being a little collateral damage in the War on Terror are traitors. You’re for me or you’re against me.

We – when I do it, goddammit, it’s WE – attacked . . . Let’s see . . . I know I – we – attacked somebody (the bill so far is like three hundred billion) . . . IRAQ – we attacked Iraq. We attacked Iraq because somebody we thought was in Afghanistan attacked us. I guess.

Well, goddammit – they incinerated themselves when those airliners crashed into the World Trade Center, so how the hell do you expect me to know?

Anyway, we attacked Iraq. The fact that a few missiles flew clear over the place and blasted somebody else’s country was just a mistake. COLLATERAL DAMAGE, dammit. The other day, when we thought al Zawahiri was in that little town in Pakistan and when we obliterated a few blocks a few women and kids got killed . . . Yeah, COLLATERAL DAMAGE! These things just happen. I’m not apologizing.

The CIA – who has nothing but the benefit of the country in mind, mind you (and if anybody mentions that they were created, organized, and are owned by military industrial corporations like Halliburton, I’ll walk right out of here) – said they had “weapons of mass destruction.” Some traitorosotous . . . traitoress . . . well, you know – the people who aren’t on my side . . . sonofabitch said the other day that any bomb bigger than a washtub is a “weapon of mass destruction” to the CIA.

Look, the boys over there are doing better. We’ve got a new man in there and he’s straightening things out. The little problem we had when Hurricane Katrina and Rita hit was just transition. How the hell did we know the levees would break? And if anybody smarts off by saying that sounds like Nine-Eleven, the WMD intelligence, and all that, I’ll sic IRS on him. You’re either with me or you’re a traitor.

We’re gonna keep bugging the phones and reading the e-mail. There’s some great stuff in there. We’re learning all kinds of things. Like did you know that sixty percent of American women will do it with a stranger for money? Forty percent have cheated on their husbands. A big percentage of them say they’re not sorry, too. Thirty percent of our young women will screw on camera for a month’s pay. Older ones say they’ll do it for a week’s pay. Hey, we’re getting some great shots through the bedroom windows, too. The Supreme Court, you know, said that was all right if we’re collecting taxes – hey, this is the War on Terror. That has to mean we can do it any time we suspect she could be making it with an Arab, right?

Anybody who won’t let us peek up their skirt is a traitorous. Traitoress. Your know – female traitor.

We also find out who’s got something on us. There was a guy a few years ago who damned near shut down the government because he started bugging OUR phones, reading our mail, and listening at our keyholes. He had so much shit on the people over at IRS and a few more that when the shit hit the fan, it would have tied things up in knots for years. We had to order a court to rule that the records he wanted were all a matter of national security, and quash his Freedom of Information Act suit for the stuff. Shit, it’s bad enough that these days everybody runs around with a damned video camera. Cops are getting caught in the act all over the place. There you have it again. A few cops getting out of hand, knocking a few heads, and you’d think it was a big damned deal.

It’s like the thing with IRS, too. Some of the lads were getting a little pussy instead of tax money. Man, you’d think anybody with the brain of a piss ant would expect people with all that power to scratch their horny itch with it every once in a while. But there you have it again - a cop gets a little pussy to stuff a ticket, and we’re supposed to go out of business? I don’t think so. It’s just COLLATERAL DAMAGE! Goes with the territory.

And so on. That’s what we’d hear, because that’s the truth. But we’re not going to hear that, principally because we don’t WANT to hear it. We like the lies because they make us feel good for another day. Anybody who stops to think a minute would expect all that other stuff, anyway. When Lord Acton found that power corrupts, he overlooked something. That’s that people who want power are already corrupt. You don’t put a drunk in charge of the liquor cabinet and act surprised when the booze disappears.

So you’ll sit like the Man With The Hoe stood, and listen. “Stunned and stolid, a brother to the ox,” you’ll listen. Now I know why John Adams said democracy never lasts long.